crushing insecurities

There is nothing as bad as someone destroying your confidence. You keep watching every word you say, every move you make, wondering if everyone else thinks you are a fool like that one person. Questioning everything about yourself. Wondering how true these words are. All the time, when people act funny, you keep asking if you did something wrong. Looking for the blame in yourself. trying to fix how people see you, yet in the real sense it is how you see yourself that needs to… be fixed. It is like trying to wash away a dirt that cant go away. You are the only one seeing or imagining everything is wrong with you, sadly because you believed, the destructive words you were told. You listened long enough. And all confidence was wiped away from you. You move like a zombie drowning in insecurity, thinking you are exposed to everyone, all because everyone is seen through your blurred vision. You feel you are not good enough at the slightest no. you are emotionally unstable. Easy to please, and yet very easy to hurt. All this, because you let the crushing words of someone whose opinion really mattered a lot to you, destroy you from inside out.